Movie · 82% slop · slop

Texas Rangers

Name: Texas Rangers: 82% Slop — By-the-numbers Western that squanders every gun and
Item: Texas Rangers
Rating: 18
Author: Slop Detector 3000

By-the-numbers Western that squanders every gun and horse.

The Breakdown

Ashton Kutcher and James Van Der Beek in a lifeless oater
2% Rotten Tomatoes, 29 Metascore — critics smelled the boredom
No grit, no spark, just routine shoot-'em-up filler
Based on real Rangers history yet delivers zero weight
Script and direction flat enough to bury in the Neuces Strip

Side Effects

ancestors filing restraining orders, horses unionizing for better roles

Watch Instead

Skip it. Watch 'The Magnificent Seven' instead — actual Western with teeth and purpose.

More titles

Same lane. Swipe for more.

BASED It 31% slop

Solid 80s horror remake with practical clown terror

BASED Fight Club 15% slop

Tyler Durden would approve — consumerist slop gets the soap treatment

BASED Project Hail Mary 9% slop

Hard sci-fi that respects your brain and soul.

BASED 2001: A Space Odyssey 8% slop

Kubrick's monolith still humbles every CGI committee script

BASED Interstellar 11% slop

Nolan's dad-coded love letter to physics

SLOP Lesbian Space Princess 82% slop

Queer space larp that turns straight white men into cartoon villains.

BASED Oppenheimer 11% slop

3-hour atomic reckoning with zero CGI, full moral weight

BASED Obsession 29% slop

De Palma's Hitchcock riff with southern gothic bite.