The Take
Blueberry Muffins score 71 slop and fail the healthy test outright. They function as cake in paper cups, defaulting to seed oils, refined flour and sugar with barely any actual blueberries.
The identity play here is fitness-adjacent adults pretending a muffin counts as responsible eating instead of dessert.
The Verdict
Skip the pack. Buy eggs, butter and fresh blueberries for real muffins in 25 minutes. The afternoon crash and gut bloat are not worth the convenience.
Blueberry Muffins land at 71 slop.
Common Questions
Does Blueberry Muffins have seed oils?
Yes. Commercial versions default to canola or soy oil.
Is Blueberry Muffins ultra-processed?
Yes. Long additive lists and refined ingredients confirm it.
Why do Blueberry Muffins cause afternoon crashes?
Refined flour and sugar deliver a quick spike followed by the inevitable drop.
