Food · 7% slop · based

Sparkling Water and Real Orange

Name: Sparkling Water and Real Orange: 7% Slop — Ancestors approve, moderns seethe
Item: Sparkling Water and Real Orange
Rating: 93
Author: Slop Detector 3000

Ancestors approve, moderns seethe

The Breakdown

Real orange: single ingredient, actual fruit
Sparkling water: just H2O + CO2, zero sludge
No seed oils, HFCS, dyes, or marketing lies
Pre-1990 simplicity in a plastic world

Side Effects

ancestors filing a restraining order against your fridge

Buy Instead

Pair the orange with raw milk — same single-ingredient energy, extra based protein.

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